“Return home and tell how much God has done for you.” Luke 8v39
I’m officially one week into training camp and I’m overflowing with gratitude for the blessings, wisdom, and miracles that the Lord has lavished on us this week. My squadmates, teammates, and leaders are some of the most devoted, sweetest, kindest, silliest friends I’ve ever known and we are so grateful to be surrounded by each other. I’m sure you’re all dying to hear about the bucket showers and camping and hand-washing clothes (very exciting stuff, really) but honestly what I have seen the Lord do in and around me this week deserves its own post.
This week we’ve had a lot of opportunities to hear about and discuss the truth of the gospel and the depth of God’s love and authority, and how he invites us into both. The past few years especially I’ve come to know the Lord closely and intimately, yet this week he graciously revealed more and more of himself to me and those around me. He revealed to me parts of my mind that hadn’t yet fully received the goodness & truth of who he is and who I am to him. Throughout the week I wrestled with whether his sacrifice on the cross had really set every part of us free, if his loving pursuit of us was too good to be true. My mind couldn’t grasp the compassion, power, and authority that the Lord holds.
On Wednesday night some of our squad was worshiping alone in the training center, praising the Lord with dancing and yelling and singing (we indeed looked very silly). One of our friends suddenly fell when jumping and immediately knew that she had broken her foot. This had happened to her before and she knew exactly what it felt like each time. We immediately ran and brought our leaders in, expecting them to assess the situation and run her to the emergency room (I now say this with conviction). In the moment we had all forgotten the true healer. Once we were reminded, twenty-plus prayers for healing were lifted up all at once. When we had all finished we asked her to try to stand, and hesitantly she did. When we asked her pain level she had previously said six, now it was at one. So we got on our knees again and prayed a second time. This time when she got up she was jumping and grinning, and we all rejoiced and danced again. Yet even after seeing God heal broken bones, my prayer was “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9v24). I knew Christ had set us free in full, heals, and died out of true love for me, but there were still walls in my mind and lies keeping me from comprehending the truth.
The next morning in worship more people were kneeling, being prayed over, and being set free in so many ways. I was praying with and over some of my squadmates, and as we ended a girl I hadn’t met found me and said she needed to tell me something. She said the Lord had just given her a vision over me – Jesus holding out the holes in his hands to Thomas, expressing he’s with me, and an angel around me, holding me.
John 20v25-27:
“But he [Thomas] said to them “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”
This week I have experienced even deeper understandings of Christ, even when I don’t feel nearness to him. He is almighty and he is not based on our feelings, yet he so deeply desires to involve us in his mission to grow his Kingdom. All that to say – the Lord is so good & am I moving forward honored, confident, and expectant.
